STAY READY... by Tosh L.

One of my oldest and dearest sister friends has recently been telling me to “Stay Ready!” It’s kind of an insider, but I will share a bit of what this is relating to. About five years ago, I had a dream. In the dream, I envisioned something interesting taking place and there were a few factors that stuck with me when I awakened. So, I immediately shared it with a small group of individuals early one morning that I saw in the dream. Well, I had placed that dream on the shelf, so to speak, until the end of last year- 2016. Reason being is something happened that took me all the way back to the moment when I had the dream. The dream came back to me as if it were yesterday. I was speechless! I am so thankful for my memory and the memory of my sister friend who also remembered the dream and what I shared with her so long ago. Before the end of last year, I was moving, but it was in slow motion and my sense of urgency was waning. But, this has pushed me to do what I had been meaning to do and to take action steps to accomplish some much needed things on my personal and professional to-do list. What I’ve learned is that dreams do manifest in perfect/right timing, but I always have the responsibility of preparation and readying me for whatever is coming my way- known and unknown. I have to move with a sense of urgency so that my life is not at a standstill, as it should never really be- always in motion, action and being. If I stay ready, I can handle just about anything coming my way!

My Determination:

I realized there's really nothing to wait for...really, isn't!  When I think of how tomorrow is not promised to any individual and that we have this ultimate gift of one lifetime, I can see my  life and every single moment that collectively makes up my life as a unique treasure to me. My 'thank you' and 'paying it forward' consists of me living it to the fullest extent imaginable! My sister tells me to #StayReady not #GetReady.... if I'm busy getting ready, the moment will be missed and I will never have it back ever again! I can't get what is gone or behind me, only what lies ahead of me. I am determined to Stay Ready!

~Tosh

Despise Not Small Beginnings… written by Tosh L.

Did you know that the experts that you and I have identified in any particular area or field, were once known to be novice and amateurs in some respects? It’s true! That expert was not born as an expert. They had a beginning. It was small. They had to learn for quite some time even through making many of their own mistakes. They didn’t become well-versed until after they paid their dues. Take a moment to think about that for a moment…

 

I was reading something recently, and it talked about small beginnings. It

cautioned against having less than stellar feelings about small beginnings. Something was sparked in my thoughts because some of us tend to want to heal the world, feed the masses and even ascribe to a way of thinking that says we must “go big or go home.” Yet, we tend to frown upon the “mom and pop” shops that have been or are growing in perfecting their service, craft or product. That business, service or organization that has become a mainstay in the community, and have made a commendable impact are in my eyes “Doing It Big” by remaining, by enduring and not folding or giving up. They are the glue. They are the touchable champions that help us to realize that we, too, can be and do the thing(s) that we have dreamed about and hoped to see in our neighborhoods, communities, cities and, yes, in our world that surrounds us. Our beginnings help us to appreciate the grind, the hard work, the blood, sweat and tears that we invest into capturing our goals, dreams and visions for ourselves, those who will follow in our footsteps and dare to do even greater than we have done because we have set an exemplary example.

 

Small beginnings are not to be overlooked, but they should be celebrated and rewarded for being a positive image of leadership, entrepreneurship, business ownership, wealth and freedom of life while making a meaningful impact, most times, away from the limelight. I will not despise small beginnings, but I will uplift them!

When the Unthinkable Happens by Tosh L.

I had to take a moment to share with you all about this most horrific story that I have been following in the local news. I am a deep thinker and profound feeler. I shared this with you all some time ago. I think I feel deeper than the average person allows themselves to feel. Sometimes I toggle between believing it to be a burden or a blessing. It just depends on which day you ask me you may get a different response. So, I usually don’t tune in to the news broadcast, if at all. My daily work pulls me away from the chance to do it. I am better to read about news or listen to it via radio broadcast just because of my limitations of time and schedule.

Well, I had been hearing this story about the children who killed the four children and injured his wife. When I read about it, I also read that he had

killed his first wife and unborn child years before. So, the way I think may differ at times than how others think. My heart aches for this mother because I am a mother, and I could not comprehend what it would be like to walk a half mile in her shoes. For me, it would be much too unbearable. I also feel like this is a level of evil that I cannot even begin to wrap my imagination around.

Whenever I hear of something tragic or otherwise that would be a hard thing to endure in my mind, there is one statement that always come to my mind. God says he won’t put more on us than we can bear. Wow God, you do give your toughest battles to your strongest warriors! I pray for this mother. I pray for their family. I pray that the father receives the help he needs because it is apparent that he does need help.

 

I do not question at all whether or not a 2^nd chance should have been granted to this man or any other human being. I will declare, emphatically, that we all deserve a 2nd chance in life. We are all in need of redemption in some way, shape or form. We all deserve to be forgiven. This is not up to me. This is

according to how God sees things. I believe that forgiveness is a step that should, hopefully, lead us to remorse for things we have done, and on to deliverance and healing. Please pray for this family, if you will. I cannot stop thinking about them. Let this be a reminder that we must deeply cherish the moments that we have with the people that we know and love most in the world. Tomorrow is not promised. One moment can change our lives forever. On another note, we must understand that mental illness is the disease that we cannot see. We have to familiarize ourselves with it so that we all know how to recognize the signs and characteristics. Rest peacefully to the children and continued prayers of strength to the mother, family and loved ones.

 

Life Happens, So Be Intentional by Tosh L.

On Friday I received some news that I saw, at the onset, as being ‘glass half empty.’ It was life-altering for others that I know. But, then my whole position in thinking shifted, and I began to see the glass as being half full. I said a prayer and this sparked a brief conversation that with a co-worker.

It’s true, life can and will throw you some curve balls. There will be things that you never anticipated nor could you have ever imagined happening, but life is so good, in that, it never stops there. This is when and where endurance, patience and being longsuffering comes into play. If you do not have these tools, it is in moments like these that you will learn what they truly mean. I have read the Bible a lot, and in times like this something that I have read in the past will come back to me. Here’s what came to mind today as I was sitting in meditation:

Ecclesiastes 9:11 which in part says, “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle.”

For me, that meant that sometimes things that appear to be “bad” do happen and will happen to what some would consider by their own definition to be “good” people. My point is not to argue who’s good and who is not, but more so the argument I have is in the direction of the occurrence (or “bad” thing as we deem it to be) and then our response to it. My initial thought was set on this being a ‘glass half empty’ and a horrible thing. I could see how it came as a shock and disturbance, but I know that our reason and purpose for being is always in motion if we will submit and surrender to it. I know that what happened may not have been good, but it was for my good. So, as soon as I re-focused, I was able to see more clearly how purpose was at play in this occurrence. And, no sooner than my focus changed, this is what came to mind:

Romans 8:28 which is part says, “God causes everything to work together according to his purpose for them who love him.”

How amazing is that!?!! So, I know that God, himself, doesn’t make every decision, but when things happen, He still uses what’s presented to work for our good! Every outcome can and will work for our good! It goes back to the surrendering piece I shared with you in the post, “Time To Surrender.” So, in knowing this, I can speak in confidence and in faith about any matter. So, when I lined up my focus in the right direction, I was able to see and hear more clearly. An overwhelming thought came to mind and I shared it with the right person at the right time, and it sparked something in her that gave light to more great ideas and positive thoughts. It was a source of encouragement and made a huge impact. Looking forward to the big picture, I can see how things will begin to change which will breed greater purpose and amazing opportunities in the lives of many others for years to come. My focus being shifted led me to reach out and share a thought that was something small and purposefully intentional. I am thankful that I didn’t allow the harshness of the circumstances to take over and rule the way I responded to the situation. Instead, wisdom helped me to pause and see things clearly. I have every confidence that I don’t have to worry because everything is going to work out…and it will be good! SO BE IT!!!

 

Check out this song by recording artist, Travis Greene. It's so fitting for this post. The song is entitled, "He's Intentional". I hope you enjoy the song courtesy of YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH3f0ellNv8

There's Priority & Then There's Purpose by Tosh L.

A week ago, I had a chance to chat with one of my all –time favorite human beings on the planet- my son! When our schedules get so busy that we cannot see one another right away, we text or we even have some face to face time via Marco Polo to stay in touch. What started off as just us catching up as we often do, became a very pivotal pow-wow for us (mostly me) to share some life experiences on the difference between priority and purpose. Over more recent years, I have learned to parent my son differently because he is a man, and I cannot have him underfoot the way I once did when he was a small child. That season is long gone. He has grown and evolved and is capable of living in and through his own legacy. It will be whatever he creates and builds it to be. I give him room to grow and to evolve. I am here for him whenever, for whatever, and however he may need me to be of assistance without the preponderance of enablement. I never seek to be a crutch, but instead, a hand up to lift as he climbs.

We discussed the difference as priority is sometimes more of an urgency that we encounter throughout life. So, we prioritize paying bills, taking care of household tasks and personal business, taking care of our health and well-being and responding to other things that require immediate attention. For some, that may mean providing any and everything for children, a spouse or even for your aging parents/family members. This has its place and is of importance; however, we have to be careful that this does not monopolize all of our time. This can, however, be very challenging to balance in some seasons of life. What deserves great attention is purpose. We must never allow matters of priority to throw us off of our mindset of purpose. We must be diligent to stay focused in this area no matter what the distractions may be. Purpose is the life you were created to live. It’s the reason why you are here! If left untethered, it will be forgotten and escape the forefronts of your mind because the priorities have taken over. This can happen more easily than you think. But, we have to manage our time wisely and stay focused on purpose. A bit of advice, don’t allow priorities to get the best of you! If they do, re-focus and get back on task. I say this with a commanding, yet respectful tone because many have put things off for tomorrow, and tomorrow slowly, but surely, became 5, 10, 15 years or longer. Trust me, no one will regret it or pay the price for this delay more than you will. The cost can be insurmountable and will not be worth it! So, it’s up to you to choose what will win in the battle between Priority vs. Purpose!

Helpful Resources

I want to share a couple resourceful tools with you that have truly helped me in more ways than I can say. The first is a book written by Stephen Covey entitled, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. The other is the Stephen Covey Time Management Matrix, see below:

 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work written by Tosh L.

I received some really great feedback from the “Ride or Die” post! Thank you continually for those who follow and those who show support through reading and commenting. You will never know how much this blesses me. I thank you tremendously! I celebrate each and every one of you who are pressing through in your day-to-day life agenda, at your workplace, through bettering yourself through education, in your relationships, with your family, in your faith walk, and those pressing through for better health and wellness! Keep going!

I have had to take some time away to handle personal matters and make efforts in getting some things done. I extend my apologies for not posting in the last couple weeks. This season, for me, is a work that is producing progress and it has come with some unexpected twists and turns, so to speak. However, I know that there is purpose even in the unexpected. I am prepared to endure the challenges! I’m back this week to share a bit on a matter that has been with me for the past few weeks. So much so, that I have gone from being frustrated to highly bothered by the matter. However, I have mellowed out a great deal. I have wanted to develop my own mantra for this matter, but what is already in existence is sufficient. My heart has been so heavy with the matter of teamwork and what it means to be a leader. Today, I want to focus on teamwork. The heaviness has grown more and more as time has moved on. So, I hope that I do it justice in sharing and not come off as this being a drag of a post. LOL!!!

So, I recently shared that I was offered an opportunity at work which has me in the office more often than I had been previously. So, being around is giving me a chance to see things in a different light than I did before. The one thing that stands out to me is how much conflict and confusion has become so common. I am able to see that we do not work together as a team, and, quite frankly, it is disheartening. Yes, like any group that is new to working together, we have challenges. However, we do not operate as a unified team. We merely exist, as a lot of groups do, hoping that teamwork will just happen without direction. But, this is never the case. Teamwork is not an accidental concept. What I often see is a multiplied number of individual plans working simultaneously. There is not just one plan, one aim or one goal. This frustrates me to no end. I have seen and daily see how well we are willing to throw our fellow team member under the bus in efforts to shine and look good to others. I even see how easy it is to leave someone without a trace of compassion or empathy in an effort to correct an error or mistake. Whenever I think about it, it frustrates me because it shows just how counterproductive this has been to the purpose of this new program. Taking a retrospective look, I have learned that conflict can be purposeful and challenges have meaning. However, people have to become burned out and reach a place of conflict before burn out can come forth. When this happens, people become more receptive to ideas of resolution.

So, today I wanted to talk about what it means to be a team player and what it means to be successful at achieving goals.

 I know that you have heard the quote that “There is no ‘I’ in team. I must add this to that statement. I say, the ‘I’ in team that some individuals may interpret is both silent and invisible. This is my way of saying that it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as an individual success. Even the Olympian, Usain Bolt, who is the fastest man in the world, has a team of people who support him, help him to prepare for greatness and achievement and persons that he counts on. He has a coach and a team that help him to be better at his craft as he helps them to be better, as well. I’ve heard the term “self-made” quite a bit. Yet there’s no such thing as a “self-made” successful, thriving anything. Do the research, I’ll wait! There is no thing that exists on its own and does everything all on its own. Everything has a counterpart. Again, check the records of history, I’ll wait. (LOL) So, as I have observed and learned this to be true and lived through some of my very own life experiences that have been lessons for me, I believe this wholeheartedly. I know that nothing can be achieved without a team, even if the team consists of two separate, individual parts connecting and joining together as a force to accomplish anything. The President of the United States is another great example. He stands in position as an entity that represents the free world, right! However, he has a wife- FLOTUS- who partners with him and they do life together and work together making efforts for their family to thrive and be successful. Before that, he had parents and family who he was closely connected with that helped to prepare him to walk the life path that he now lives. He also has a Vice President who partners with him. He even has other staff on multiple levels that help to create an environment conducive for success and achievement and the accomplishment of goals. What’s interesting is that he is not the focal point of his position. What would you guess to be the focal or central point of the mission overall? Yes, you guessed it...it’s the actual people of the United States and the world that surrounds us. If there were no people, there would be no need for the position whatsoever. We wouldn’t need a leader if there was no one to lead.

What can we accomplish without a team? What can we do without the help of another? NOTHING!!! ((please take a long moment to think about that))  In T.E.A.M., it is said that “Together Everyone Achieves More.” Indeed, this is true! It is through team that our individual and collective purposes can be realized and accomplished. Alone, we would forever be lost. Alone, we would forever have unanswered questions. But, together we can find the answers we need to be what was meant in this life. Together, we can find our way to harmony. Together, we can find our way to peace. Together, we can find our way to victory. Together, we can learn who we are. Together, we can live in purpose, on purpose and for purpose. So in team, in community, in group or crew, I have learned never to underestimate the value of a moment. It is through moments that we can be birthed. It is through moments that we come alive. It is through moments that we find exactly the missing link. Hearts are heard in moments, visions are seen in moments, and love can be manifested in new ways. So, when I join together with a team, then I can do the unimaginable things that I have only seen in my dreams and that is when, and only when, they become reality! That’s why team matters... Teamwork makes the dream work!!!

"RIDE OR DIE" by Tosh L.

Please forgive me...I'm posting a couple days later than I usually do. Life, evidently, took over in these past few weeks and I am playing catch up as a result. I will be sharing about some of what's taken place in the coming weeks.

So recently I had taken my bike to the shop for some routine maintenance to get it up and running for me to get some ride time in while the summer season is alive and well. I got it home, rode it once and ended up having something else go wrong. When I took it back, the guy discovered that the repair was not really a repair but something that was loosened and needed to be tightened for my left hand brake to work again. He made the adjustment for me, right outside before we could even get it inside the shop. Good eyes!!! So, I was on my way. (Shout out to G & R Bike Shop on Grand River Avenue near Lahser in Detroit!) They were certainly instrumental in helping me on my road to re-discovering a form of physical fitness that I hadn’t practiced since my son was in elementary school and we lived in the Kalamazoo area. (Shout out to the Zoo!) So, for a while, “bike” had been riding shot gun because I hadn’t taken it out of my vehicle. I was certainly planning to go riding again, but my schedule had been a bit hectic to say the least with everything that’s been going on in the past few weeks.

With the exception of hitting snooze 2 or 3, okay 4 times each morning, I get up at around 530am every morning and may fall asleep each night anywhere between 9pm-11pm. Depending on what my day holds, I may cook breakfast in the morning and gather things to head out to work, or do whatever is planned for the day- be it weekend or weekday. So when I get home from work, I am usually mentally drained because the population that I work with requires a lot of mental labor. It is in a clinical setting dealing with individuals who are challenged with substance abuse and mental health issues. So, I am making necessary adjustments in my schedule so that I can be present and effective at work. Each day that I was at work, I began to notice one of the doctors take breaks to go outside and walk around the building. Even in the months before summer and this beautiful weather that we’re experiencing came along, he would make sure he got his steps in by walking laps inside the building- no matter how early or how late. He showed me this app on his phone that acts as a pedometer and records the steps he takes. I believe he said that his daily goal was either 5,000 or 10,000 steps per day. So, keeping in mind that I definitely had a need to add physical fitness to my weekly schedule and also self-care, I began to walk around the building yesterday. It only takes me a short, quick 15 minutes of walking around the building, and I must say that it works wonders! I’m not speed or even brisk walking, because I dare not get all sweaty and sticky…lol! But, it’s good enough to feel the warmth of the sun, get some fresh air and then get back in to work. So, today as I was out walking around the building, I thought to myself, today’s a great day to go for a bike ride. I need it! So, I motivated myself to do it! As soon as I walked in the house, I changed clothes, got some cold water, grabbed my sunglasses and my bike and went for a ride! It didn’t take too long. I rode for about 30 minutes. I did about ¾ -1 mile. I covered a pretty hilly path. It wasn’t as easy as it had been before. I went farther out than I had ridden before. There was a good amount of uphill terrain that I hadn’t covered on my last ride. But, I was determined to give it a go! What was interesting (my new favorite word) was that my personal physical and spiritual will and determination began to collide as I got farther and farther away from home and as the ride became more demanding. It was as if there was a war going on inside me- physical will vs. spiritual will. My spiritual will said, “Keep going, you can do this!” My physical will said, “Give up now while you still can with pride!” It got to the point where I needed to interject some positive, encouraging self-talk to make it over the hardest parts of the ride and even to maintain momentum so that I could make it back home which was my goal. I made it home and reached my goal, but it was not an easy journey. I had the work of superseding every negative thought, image, idea and feeling that I was mentally and physically enduring that was sending the message to my mind to give up, to stop, to throw in the towel. It was not easy! When I finally made it home, I lifted my bike up the stairs and just barely made it inside to collapse on the floor with, what felt like, the last wind inside of me. As I breathed like my life depended on it, all I could think was that I had made it! I made it across the finish line. I reached the goal that I had set for myself. I didn’t have to compromise. I didn’t have to throw in the towel. I didn’t have to give up. I didn’t have to stop. I kept going! I was motivated and encouraged by my spiritual will to continue no matter what! As I was in the home stretch of the ride, I started to focus my mind on my breathing and began to take intentional breaths- in through my nose and out through my mouth, over and over again. While I did this, thoughts of inspirational words came to mind that I have heard spoken from people like Will Smith. He did this interview with Tavis Smiley, and I remember him using this example to say that the only difference between him on a treadmill and his competitor on a treadmill is that he was willing to die on that treadmill. He was sharing this thought that his competitor may, in fact, be better looking, be sexier, be more talented, be smarter in 9/10 categories in their favor. However, there were two things that were going to happen- either the competitor would get off the treadmill first or he, himself, would die on the treadmill. The thought that he was conveying was that no one was going to outwork him, simply put. That led me to think, all we have to do is be willing and then take action to move in a positive direction with endurance in tow! I learned a deeper lesson on my bike ride this time around. If I am willing to work harder at achieving goals, then I can reach those same goals. If I listen to negativity from others who may not have the same level of belief in the idea of accomplishment, may not be as ambitious, or even “stinking thinking” from myself (and my present physical state), I stand losing the very thing(s) I desire most. When I was lying on the floor inside my home, my body no longer had anything negative to say because it was relieved after crying out for help as I endured the rough parts of the ride. By any means necessary, it wanted me to give up. It finally was able to settle back into being what it already was-content with a state of mediocrity. I hope you’re getting this! It literally blew my mind! My spiritual will was grateful, not for the relief, but for the accomplishment and reaching the goal. I knew that relief from the demanding path was inevitable, even when my physical will was leading me to believe otherwise. My spiritual will was renewed and alive! It felt so good! It felt accomplished! It felt greater because it had overcome the negativity! It had endured the hard moments and survived it! So, I learned even in the bike ride that when there’s a war within ourselves or we’re up against any type of opposition, we must always take a stand, choose a side, stick to it and ride it out! This is the ONLY way that we will ever accomplish the goals, dreams and desires of our heart! We have to keep going in the direction of our dreams. We have to hustle harder than we’ve ever done before or could even imagine no matter what comes to block us. We have to look outside of ourselves and our present state of mind. We have to push past mediocrity because we’ve already mastered that. We have to do more, so that we can become better, stronger and greater! And this can only be achieved if and when we face death (negativity), press through and Keep Riding!!!