"RIDE OR DIE" by Tosh L.

Please forgive me...I'm posting a couple days later than I usually do. Life, evidently, took over in these past few weeks and I am playing catch up as a result. I will be sharing about some of what's taken place in the coming weeks.

So recently I had taken my bike to the shop for some routine maintenance to get it up and running for me to get some ride time in while the summer season is alive and well. I got it home, rode it once and ended up having something else go wrong. When I took it back, the guy discovered that the repair was not really a repair but something that was loosened and needed to be tightened for my left hand brake to work again. He made the adjustment for me, right outside before we could even get it inside the shop. Good eyes!!! So, I was on my way. (Shout out to G & R Bike Shop on Grand River Avenue near Lahser in Detroit!) They were certainly instrumental in helping me on my road to re-discovering a form of physical fitness that I hadn’t practiced since my son was in elementary school and we lived in the Kalamazoo area. (Shout out to the Zoo!) So, for a while, “bike” had been riding shot gun because I hadn’t taken it out of my vehicle. I was certainly planning to go riding again, but my schedule had been a bit hectic to say the least with everything that’s been going on in the past few weeks.

With the exception of hitting snooze 2 or 3, okay 4 times each morning, I get up at around 530am every morning and may fall asleep each night anywhere between 9pm-11pm. Depending on what my day holds, I may cook breakfast in the morning and gather things to head out to work, or do whatever is planned for the day- be it weekend or weekday. So when I get home from work, I am usually mentally drained because the population that I work with requires a lot of mental labor. It is in a clinical setting dealing with individuals who are challenged with substance abuse and mental health issues. So, I am making necessary adjustments in my schedule so that I can be present and effective at work. Each day that I was at work, I began to notice one of the doctors take breaks to go outside and walk around the building. Even in the months before summer and this beautiful weather that we’re experiencing came along, he would make sure he got his steps in by walking laps inside the building- no matter how early or how late. He showed me this app on his phone that acts as a pedometer and records the steps he takes. I believe he said that his daily goal was either 5,000 or 10,000 steps per day. So, keeping in mind that I definitely had a need to add physical fitness to my weekly schedule and also self-care, I began to walk around the building yesterday. It only takes me a short, quick 15 minutes of walking around the building, and I must say that it works wonders! I’m not speed or even brisk walking, because I dare not get all sweaty and sticky…lol! But, it’s good enough to feel the warmth of the sun, get some fresh air and then get back in to work. So, today as I was out walking around the building, I thought to myself, today’s a great day to go for a bike ride. I need it! So, I motivated myself to do it! As soon as I walked in the house, I changed clothes, got some cold water, grabbed my sunglasses and my bike and went for a ride! It didn’t take too long. I rode for about 30 minutes. I did about ¾ -1 mile. I covered a pretty hilly path. It wasn’t as easy as it had been before. I went farther out than I had ridden before. There was a good amount of uphill terrain that I hadn’t covered on my last ride. But, I was determined to give it a go! What was interesting (my new favorite word) was that my personal physical and spiritual will and determination began to collide as I got farther and farther away from home and as the ride became more demanding. It was as if there was a war going on inside me- physical will vs. spiritual will. My spiritual will said, “Keep going, you can do this!” My physical will said, “Give up now while you still can with pride!” It got to the point where I needed to interject some positive, encouraging self-talk to make it over the hardest parts of the ride and even to maintain momentum so that I could make it back home which was my goal. I made it home and reached my goal, but it was not an easy journey. I had the work of superseding every negative thought, image, idea and feeling that I was mentally and physically enduring that was sending the message to my mind to give up, to stop, to throw in the towel. It was not easy! When I finally made it home, I lifted my bike up the stairs and just barely made it inside to collapse on the floor with, what felt like, the last wind inside of me. As I breathed like my life depended on it, all I could think was that I had made it! I made it across the finish line. I reached the goal that I had set for myself. I didn’t have to compromise. I didn’t have to throw in the towel. I didn’t have to give up. I didn’t have to stop. I kept going! I was motivated and encouraged by my spiritual will to continue no matter what! As I was in the home stretch of the ride, I started to focus my mind on my breathing and began to take intentional breaths- in through my nose and out through my mouth, over and over again. While I did this, thoughts of inspirational words came to mind that I have heard spoken from people like Will Smith. He did this interview with Tavis Smiley, and I remember him using this example to say that the only difference between him on a treadmill and his competitor on a treadmill is that he was willing to die on that treadmill. He was sharing this thought that his competitor may, in fact, be better looking, be sexier, be more talented, be smarter in 9/10 categories in their favor. However, there were two things that were going to happen- either the competitor would get off the treadmill first or he, himself, would die on the treadmill. The thought that he was conveying was that no one was going to outwork him, simply put. That led me to think, all we have to do is be willing and then take action to move in a positive direction with endurance in tow! I learned a deeper lesson on my bike ride this time around. If I am willing to work harder at achieving goals, then I can reach those same goals. If I listen to negativity from others who may not have the same level of belief in the idea of accomplishment, may not be as ambitious, or even “stinking thinking” from myself (and my present physical state), I stand losing the very thing(s) I desire most. When I was lying on the floor inside my home, my body no longer had anything negative to say because it was relieved after crying out for help as I endured the rough parts of the ride. By any means necessary, it wanted me to give up. It finally was able to settle back into being what it already was-content with a state of mediocrity. I hope you’re getting this! It literally blew my mind! My spiritual will was grateful, not for the relief, but for the accomplishment and reaching the goal. I knew that relief from the demanding path was inevitable, even when my physical will was leading me to believe otherwise. My spiritual will was renewed and alive! It felt so good! It felt accomplished! It felt greater because it had overcome the negativity! It had endured the hard moments and survived it! So, I learned even in the bike ride that when there’s a war within ourselves or we’re up against any type of opposition, we must always take a stand, choose a side, stick to it and ride it out! This is the ONLY way that we will ever accomplish the goals, dreams and desires of our heart! We have to keep going in the direction of our dreams. We have to hustle harder than we’ve ever done before or could even imagine no matter what comes to block us. We have to look outside of ourselves and our present state of mind. We have to push past mediocrity because we’ve already mastered that. We have to do more, so that we can become better, stronger and greater! And this can only be achieved if and when we face death (negativity), press through and Keep Riding!!!